On our own, and I know I can do it.

I have been dreading to write this post, just because it would make what I am going through, just that more real, but here it goes. I am back in Miami, for good. I came back a month and a half ago. I got tired of all the drama I had been going through, and I thought that my kids didn't need to suffer any more dreadful moments. I just packed my bags and decided to come home with them. As you probably have guessed already, I am getting a divorce. Just writing it makes me realize that it is a fact, and not something I dreamt.

I don't want to go into many of the details, just until my divorce is finished, because I think that by then I will be a free woman, not only free from my marriage, but free to write about what I have been through, and hope that there is someone out there reading about my experience and realizing that they are not alone, like I always felt I was.

My life in Bolivia wasn't what I had hoped for, and my relationship with my soon to be ex husband, was just unbearable, and it was getting worse. We had always had problems, but things just got out of hand. For many months I felt that I didn't have an option, that all I could do was hope that things would get better, instead they got hopeless and unhealthy for me and my kids. I was feeling physically ill. The thought that there was nothing I could do to make things better, even though I did everything I could think of to save my marriage, just made me feel like I was going to have a panic attack at any given moment. I physically felt like my I couldn't breath and I my heart just hurt so much, because I felt helpless.

Now that some time has passed, and I realized that life doesn't end with a relationship, I feel so much better about myself. I know now that I can do it on my own, and that I don't need to suffer any more humiliation, just because someone made me believe I was good for nothing, and that I could never be on my own taking care of my kids.

My kids are feeling very relieved because they can see that I feel happy with my decision and not scared of the new life that we have started on our own.

I will be writing more about what is happening with me and my kids in the days to come. I just wanted to get it out in the open.